3 times 7

Ugh..
I sense change in the air
well actually it's kicking me in the butt right now!
I'm quitting smoking.
I never quit smoking! For real i mean
and this time i do
I decided so on Saturday
well actually decided on Sunday evenin
but on Saturday i knew something had to change
cus my body just didnt feel right
it mustve been the worst hangover ever cus i had been drinking and smoking on friday for 12 hours straight and got like 2 hours of sleep
then drank coffee beer and smoked some more and then all the overstraining of self-destruction caught up with me
my heart felt like its just gonna stop beating at any moment.
and i felt shitty all day and when i finally got to bed (after a real noisy concert at Rockstars which was actually VERY enjoyable despite my state) i was scared that my breathing would stop as soon as i fall in
so i had to consciously breathe in and out and be creeped out by my failing organism until i had some well-deserved sleep.
Well i guess that experience spooked me into quitting 1 of my passions - cigarettes.
i've been smokin for 8 years and im HookEd.
so its hard
Day three!
im tryin to comfort myself with a thought that i can start smoking again after 7 years. Cus then id be as clean again as i can get. And prolly have babies.
or not.
but until then - health for me
even heroins hafta regenerate XD

also.
to help me quit and stop bein so melancholic all the tiem my doctor prescribed me anti-depressants.
Day two!
these are my first.
and i know ppl feel differently about them (for examp. my boyfriend hates the thought me bein on em and my mum's perfectly cool whit that). Well im just thrilled.
Legal drugs for quitting smoking! And i cant drink thanks to them
so ill be sober and happy and smokefree. that's new.
and i really like new.
and i woulndt be too worried about the issue wether i should take the treatment cus - tho i do have highly addictive personality - since i have no real need for them (sides the nicotine-cravings that cause immense stress and tenseness) i'll be liek a clown on ecstasy for a period of time
and for everyones amusement
win win so to say
heh

and im losing my hair
immense hairloss
which i hope has everything to do with the beginning of a new 7-year cycle in my life.
i just turned 21 and 3x7=21. so
yea
im about to turn a new page in my life (as we speak..type?)

LongPig is Delighted!

I see a healthier but yet drug-infested future ahead
it shines upon me calling me forward from the future
and i am basking in its glow

finally i join the happy campers!
love you all