cozizizinessess. and universe.

December Saturday!~

Home alone, gonna fire up the firewood and slowly arrive into cozy evening.
This apartment is getting cozier by the day!
Brought some nifty textiles from school (the still life room has such a great assortment, all organised by colour and whatnot), made some into tablecloths, others to curtains. Decided on the colour scheme of the room too - warm yellows/browns (wood, brass, ochre, burnt umbra), emerald green, deep red. And warm white.

COZY!

Got about 1,6 pieces finished of the new "collection". Well.. the medievalish grandeur that i mentioned a while before, when I decided on the direction my diploma work should take. Is all stripes and black and white and gold and silver and red. And saints and gradients and symmetry.
Already decided when and where I'm gonna have my next solo show too -Summer '14, Saaremaa, ye olde Bishops Castle.
 Probably the sweetest spot imaginable - the best preserved medieval castle in eastern Europe, gets tons of traffic during the summer, and is also in my childhood town! No better place to unveil my awesomeness first, after finally finishing the art uni (6 years, dude! 6 YEARS. But I never was designed for such things in the first place.. but once started..gotta pull through.).
Already got the first okays from their side too, and they're not going to ask me any rent either.
Heh. Gotta refrain myself from designing the posters already.

:3  .... NYEEE!hihihiihii

yeah.
I'm glad I finally decided to be an awesome (collage) artist. Because since that fated day (somewhere in mid 2013), everything has started to fall into place. I am no longer a floating amoeba in the sticky swamps of half-consciousness - I have a direction! A goal even! And the Universe is my buddy and manager.

I am in the process of discovering my intuition.
It appears that.. perfect solutions, steps, answers to Anything, always, already exist right now. Every action we take can be either meh, ok, disastrous.. OR Abso-fucking-lutely perfect, so that it makes everything that came before it fall into place with such grace, so that you see the connections in everything, all makes sense in such high levels that it makes you collapse and chant to Kami-sama in ecstasy.
Ok I might be exaggerating a bit. .as in it hasn't happened to me in such extent (but I'm sure it's possible) but yea sometimes a thought comes to me, like.. "oh, you hate that piece.. but maybe - instead of throwing it out.. why don't you make this eeny-tiny change there?" And I'm like "OoohMy that changes everything! That makes it click so well with this and that and makes it into a logical part of all these and. Wow. It's way closer to perfect now. And I know exactly where to go from here!"

weird.

hehehe.

It's no news that creative people are able to tune into the universe and let it do large portions of work for them, so to say. You know the moment, when it's really easy to create, when there are no real doubts or fundamental choices to make, when it all just  pours in and onto the canvas or word file or wherever, when you vibrate with inspiration.

I was pretty sceptical about this stuff before, even tho, as i recently realised, I almost always, when I work, kinda blank out and just find the momentum and then go as fast as I can.. until i get distracted, come out of it and suddenly feel bored and beat. Well I guess that's just the way I work anyway. I do things fast and furiously, I am the last one to start the class and the first one to finish the work and leave, looking for ways to reward myself. If I had the discipline to work like most others, with dry consistency, all full designated hours, my live studio study work could be much more shiny and polished and my hand much better developed. I guess.
 Since the real work starts when it's not easy or fun. (But that's another subject, not my favourite one but very important too.)

And at the end of the day, when the hand is warm and all principles of composition and colour and form clear as day I write down a few keywords, doodle few thumbnails and compose a digital draft for a new collage. And I try my hardest to keep this world very purely my own, there are no nagging agendas, no clever concepts, no permanent rules. Every work is an independent universe, pure and simple and perfect. Well they all tell a sort of a story, often heavy with symbols and stylistic references, but these stories only start to unravel even for myself often weeks and sometimes months later. And yes I admit it, some symbols i insert just to distract the viewer, false clues so to say. It just.. I can't allow myself to be too clear and too obvious. The true message must be whispered so quietly, lest it be recognized too soon and thus castrated.

ok I'm getting way too poetic here. But I can, since my blog!

But yea, still better wrap things up for now.