Hi, I'm back.
I was away for a while because I didn't feel like I had anything of worth to write down and reading few of my previous posts made me squirm with embarrassment and so I took down the whole blog, not knowing if I would return to it or not.
Well I have.
I can say I feel much better now, about myself and about writing too.
I know I'm not a writer and comparing myself to people who have read and written volumes more than me, and unlike me, consciously and with purpose, isn't a thing to do.
Overall I am actually much more calm and relaxed now. I'm still shy to ridiculousness in certain situations but a nice feeling of quiet confidence has been seeping into my life. It all comes from within, thanks to my working with my mind, contemplating simple truths and dismissing useless garbage.
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You know, I've got an exhibition coming! Hyeeees. Self funded of course, and not in a gallery, of course. And nothing palatial, just a little display in a club/cafe Genialistide Klubi, 4 weeks tops. My very first one. I haven't thought of the name yet but I will. Maybe it should be like .. "No. 1" - like a series, a promise for more! ::Maria Evestus - Number One::! or.. check this ..~No One~. uhm. Maybe not. I do love them opposites tho. Maybe I'll.. well.. It will come to me.
Realised that all my self-organized displays of art have all been in cafes or clubs. Well .. actually I couldn't really think a better place for them. Other good places would be schools, workplaces..well all kinds of places where people actually spend time at.
Galleries are useless. They need too much info too long time beforehand and nobody visits them anyway. I don't like going to galleries to look at art - it's so uncomfy. The show openings are always too crowded and/or awkward and other times it's just me and the gallery attendant which also reeks of awkward. Of course 99% of the awkward comes just from me but ... in a cafe/bar the mood is way more lax, you got all the time in the world to comfily sit with your drink in a dark corner and browse the display and really get into the work. Or you may ignore it. Anyway the great thing is that it's not staring at you awkwardly on a white wall in a bleak room trying to be all art-worky. Because that's just embarrassing.
heheheh
semi-kidding. Galleries are ok. Keep up the good work, galleries!
I guess I got my dad's influence here. He is a pub-artist if there ever was one and he despises the lofty kulka-artists and everything they stand for. Something like, if your art isn't self-sufficient and you have to beg for money from the government, hat in hand, you're obviously bad at being an artist.
I haven't really given it a lot of thought.. So far my art has kept me alive pretty decently (frugal living for the win!) and I'm proud of it. I haven't really got much against people who write projects and leech the EU, kulka or hooandja and such, since well.. the money is there for grabs.. for all the crafty and clever.
I'm neither so I do things in my own pace and way.
Feels great too.
Will see what future brings. I might have use for the "free money" too some day.
I'll try to be back soon, writing a blog is ok, nothing to be embarrassed about. yusssh.
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