Tracks

Suddenly, my life seems to finally have some direction. Not that anything has changed really.
Still the same general - do art, finish school, continue with art, live life - idea. And not that I'm doing anything new either - still the same - portrait and graphic design commissions, selling works, struggling with school, being lazy.
 But I guess by now I've been in this life long enough (more than 4 years now in Tartu already) to really get used to it. I can't say that the novelty of things has worn off - I still learn a lot and get all types of fresh experiences from my day-to-day life and work. Now it just feels like - I'm in it for real. I realize - that's it, that's my life. This is where I got myself with my decisions and down this road I am going to continue. Of course.. it doesn't seem that much and I might have had higher expectations for myself from years back but who can tell. 6 years ago I had quite the foggy image of how I would like things to go in more distant future or how could it be like in any case. At least I know that the 6-years younger me would fancy my current state anyway.
I like how things are right now. Planning to keep it up strong. But even if the direction my life is taking seems pretty concrete now I keep in mind that I can make my own choices -- but I cannot see the future. Lives can be unpredictable and chaotic. Like almost everyone, I know it from many personal experiences.

So yea,  to make long torture-of-words short - my life has settled into a track in a way I like it, even though I  probably didn't plan it out quite like it but, really - iscoolman. And I know that now that (um) I've said it - something unexpected may happen that could take my life to a totally new direction. Or a dimension. Because that's what happens sometimes. So that's that.