Blag

The winter has come.
Outside climate is well described as “arctic”. Inside is nice, if i don’t consider the icy kitchen and bathroom. The temp there stays usually under 5 degrees.
I feel productive and inspired while staying still in my somewhat passive and slow mode.

Music is starting to creep back into my days.
 I added few more “new” bands to my background playlist - now it’s mostly all “that indiepop-crap”, that I so lovilngly call bands like The Knife, MGMT, Mum, Hudson M and such. "New" favourites include Röyksopp, Ultramelanhool and rediscovered Väntorel and Sneaker Pimps. And more.
 But when I go to walks or to the school basement to work on collages the favouritest music to suffle-surprise me is by John Dowland. There’s something about these medieval overly poetic lyrics and lyric melodies that raises your eyebrows to the hairline and maketh thine heart sing songs of bliss and woe. The next best sounds on these headphone-fueled solohangs are by Morphine and Bourbon Princess, a direction tad darker and even more romantic. In a sexy way.

  Good, on spot, enjoyable music is good for health. Starting to feel the need for peeking out of my shell some more. Got drunk with Hertta twice this week which can be good for the soul but only when dosed right. By that i mean the drunkness, I could stand more Hertta anytime.
  I feel like I could do with more cool connectable people in my life.

  This is not anything new, I havent really made much new friends since forever. People change and connections are lost and I end up with less and less close people. I guess there have been a few chances for new friendships but they didn’t bloom. Mostly due to my passivness. I guess one way to fix this issue is to be more um.. open, outgoing, social and fun to be around. And this probably starts somehow “within myself”, so that’s obscure. And another issue is finding people I would want to be more social to. Or should I start being more social to everyone and see where that takes me? Sounds not so healthy. Not that the opposite of it is any more sane. I don’t even know. It’s ok to be a paduintrovert and antisocial but only if you don’t want to be somehow else. Feels so bleh - yea I’m all proud nolifer and hard to reach up in the tower of my inside kingdoms, oh how dark and mystical ..But on quiet Saturday nights home I secretly wish upon a shooting star to bring me an awesome new friend or two. Gaaay. Only thing gayer is writing about it in a personal online diary that (luckily) nobody reads.

 Well anyway, I will see what future brings. I just need to find people who don’t give up on me if i happen to take more time than usual to warm up on the surface. Lots of fish in the sea, yaaa!
And there’ll always be cats and the internet.

 Internet is cool.
Past few days I’ve spent quite a lot of time reading up on ZA/UM. I’m not yet sure how they call themselves. A webzine by and for young Estonian intellectuals? A lifestyle blog by bunch of mainly Tallinnrooted bohemians? Mostly text-based posts of all sorts that entertain me so. Kudos to them, may they keep up the good stuff.